"Your mission will be to go into under developed countries, teach them about Christ, and our Western ways. Help them to forget about their own cultures, and ways of living in harmony with nature."

"But since God cannot be constrained by nothing, He created Hawking radiation through which information can escape from Black Holes. This cosmic loop hole made God even more tired than tired light, and the evening and the morning were the second day."

"Skeptics have suggested that before we spend millions of taxpayer dollars on such projects, and subject American motorists to the unknown risks of driving over a Waterstone bridge, Waterstone's basic principles should at least be tested to see whether they work. This is especially true since his designs seem to run contrary to conventional wisdom."

"No one has ever seen, for example, "sobaka" [Russian] turn into "dog." No one has ever seen "sayonara" [Japanese} turning into "goodbye." And how could such words even be supposed to gradually turn into each other? What meaning would "sobaog" or "sayobye" have?"

"Since then, every year at Christmas we honor the memory of Santa Claus by celebrating economic prosperity and running up credit card debt. And every year Santa brings brings presents to all who believe in him."

"Me: 'I thought you said he was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist beats people up just because they're different?'
Mary: 'It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right.'"

"This is Woman and she shall purchase your fruit; and ye shall realize a fortune thereby. For Man produceth and Woman consumeth, wherefore she shall be called the consumer."

"If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert."

"If you don't stop thinking on the job, we'll have to let you go. We just can't run a business here if our employees are thinking. And sooner or later, someone is going to get hurt. Get some professional help." This gave me a lot to think about."

"Have you read the Bible in the original ancient Hebrew? I mean, the original Bible? I'm not talking about copies of copies of copies that have been translated into other languages."

"He told me there was a guy I could talk to who would fix it for free. I thought that was cool. I asked where I could find this guy. He told me this guy died a long time ago."

"A simple method for rating potentially revolutionary contributions to physics."

"At first, I threw the letter in the trash," said Richard Dawkins, renowned evolutionist and author of The Blind Watchmaker, who joined Gould at the podium. "But then, although I had heard such claims before, this time it just seemed like I should consider it seriously."